Recently, I spent a weekend visiting my daughter at law school. I arrived carrying goodies from home, and a good bit of worry—that is, until I saw life through her eyes.

For a long time, I believed that if I learned enough—read the right books, reflected deeply, went to therapy, and led with good intentions—my life would stay more or less on track and under control.

If you or someone you love is facing the end of life, you may not know what kind of support you need—or even where to begin. There is no one right way to experience this journey.

My Death Doula training reminds me that endings are not failures — they are natural and essential parts of living. Every goodbye, every change, every release asks something of us: to trust the unfolding, to stay present, and to love even as we let go.

Life holds up a mirror and asks us to look a little closer, to notice what’s being stirred, and to tend to it with compassion.  Sometimes that reflection comes through our children, sometimes through our partners, and sometimes—unexpectedly—through a mischievous cat. 

We all carry echoes of our past—sometimes they whisper, sometimes they shout. And when they show up in parenting or in our primary relationships, it can be activating and disorienting. Every parent I know has had moments where they wonder, “Why did I react that way?”